The beginning of sex life
If you are a teenager and you have no sex experience than you can begin your sex life for various reasons. Many young people decide to come in the first sexual contact because:
They want to be like all others
They fell in love
They want to be closer to another person
They want to experiment
Their experience influence of sex hormones
However, most of them do not think whether these reasons are valid enough for making the decision to begin sex life. They do not ask themselves whether they are adult and responsible enough to take this important step. Responsibility for ones behavior and health as well is the first sign of being a mature person who can be sure that his or her actions are not going to have sad consequences, such as HIV. How can you protect yourself against this deathful infection? Actually, there are two best ways to do that. These are abstinence and safer sex.
Keep in mind that love and sex are not the same. Love is a feeling. No one can explain what love is, because each person has his or her own attitude towards it. Love necessarily implies tenderness and care. Sex is a biological act. Unlike love, any sort of sexual contacts can be easily described.
Sometimes people decide not to have sexual relationships, i.e to abstain. This choice has its advantages:
Abstinence from sex with the partner is the easiest and the most effective way to protect oneself against any sexually transmitted infection
Sometimes abstinence is necessary to protect ones feelings and values. If you are a teen than perhaps you have not realized yet what kind of relationships you need. Sometimes it is much more reasonable to wait until you understand yourself and only than begin sex life.
How can you display love without sex?
There are millions of non-sexual ways to show another person your feelings. You can care for the person you spend your time with. You can walk and speak about different things you are interested in. You can make a good gift. You can help your friend solve his or her problems. Kissing, embracement and touching allow you to feel physical closeness to the beloved person without making love. However, such an activity can easily turn into sex, therefore you had better discuss in advance the limits in your relationships and stay within these limits. It could turn out to be very difficult to say no at the last moment, especially at a moment of passion.
The first sexual experience in one of the most considerable events in ones life. Therefore you should think carefully before making this first step:
First of all ask yourself the following questions:
Am I really ready for sexual relationships?
How am I going to feel after sex?
Will my feelings for my partner change somehow?
Do I really have valid reasons to begin sex life?
Am I sure I will not regret about what I have done?
Am I going to feel guilty after that?
Besides these you should ask yourself some questions concerning your health
In what way am I going protect myself against HIV and sexually transmitted diseases?
What do I know about HIV and STDs? Do I need some additional information?
How am I going to solve problems sexual contacts are fright with, if any?
Always keep in mind that you are not alone. There are a lot of people who can help you. Discuss your problem with one of your friends whom you trust most, apply to a psychologist or to your parents if you can.
You might realize you are not ready for sex life yet. This is your choice. No one can make you do what you do not what to do. If you decided to come in sexual contact, than take some certain measures to protect yourself against HIV:
Keep in mind you must use a condom EVERY time you have penetrating sex (vaginal, anal or oral)
Make love only to a person whom you completely trust
Do not have more than one partner and make sure your partner is faithful to you. Monogamy is one of the ways to make sexual contacts less risky. The fewer sex partners you have, the less is the risk of infections. However, remember that many people were infected by their permanent partners. Monogamy also implies protected sex!
Be aware of safe alternatives to penetrating sex contacts, such as kissing, caress, mutual masturbation or use of some sex toys
By the way, many sex toys imply penetration. Therefore any sex toy you use must be thoroughly washed after each contact with genitals or anus, otherwise they can transmit various infections
Keep in mind that all contraceptives (birth control pills, injections, etc.) except the condom protect you from unwanted pregnancy but do not protect you against STDs and HIV. You really need a condom, even if you use another methods of contraception
If you had an unprotected sex contact
If you had an unprotected sexual contact, than you might be infected with HIV. What can you do?
First of all, talk about your problem with somebody whom you trust: with your parents or to one of your close friends and necessarily apply to a clinic for being anonymously tested for HIV.
Keep in mind that only medical test can reveal whether you are HIV positive or not. Undergo the test as soon as possible, because modern methods of treatment allow HIV positive persons stay healthy for many years, provided these persons applied for treatment in time.
If you turn out to be HIV positive, than perhaps you will need psychological help and support. It is quite natural to despair in such a situation. Many people begin feeling guilty and are ashamed of speaking about their diagnosis with others.
An HIV positive person is not necessarily to blame for getting infected. Every year an enormous number of young people who do not belong to so called risk groups are infected with HIV. The fact that you managed to avoid this trouble does not mean you cannot be infected in future. You can protect yourself and only you are responsible for your safety.