Sex and sexuality
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There is popular concern about virginity definition and the meaning others put in it. Most people consider a person virgin if he never had sexual intercourse, i.e. penis- vagina penetration. You may say that “technically” a woman having hymen or a man who never penetrated a woman is considered to be a virgin. But a lot of questions appear, like ”What if I am gay and have sex with the same sex?” or “Do I have to consider myself a virgin if I had oral, anal, solo sex with sex toys?”. The answer will be as follows:” You are the one to decide whether to consider yourself a virgin or not. But every sexual act holds a lot of responsibility, where all the risks, hopes and emotions are involved. That’s why a primary question you should decide on is to weigh all pros and contras before you make this major step.
Are you ready?
You are young and hot. Everybody seems to have sex. Of course, no one doubts that you are no longer child and sex is a great pleasure. Still wait for a while and think over one important thing: Are you ready for your first time?
That is not an idle question for every person if he or she made up his mind to lose virginity. Even if you feel a wild urge to have first intercourse, the best thing to do in this situation is to answer to yourself whether you are ready to take a responsibility for your and your partner’s health, know all about the consequences of sexual interaction, like STD’s and pregnancy. Surely, safe sex should be of primary importance to you, as well as things like your psychological readiness for intimate relationships. Loosing virginity should be a free choice for you. You shouldn’t fall under pressure or do it with a person you know nothing about. Of course, you may not fill your head with all this “stuff”, but many people do actually. If you respect yourself and are going to be sexually active, you are going to know that no matter what your further intimate relationships will be, you won’t forget your first man or a woman even if you try to. That’s why you’d better take it seriously, so that further memories won’t disappoint you.
First intercourse: tips for boys
1. Never consider sex with a woman you don’t appreciate or think of as unattractive.
2. A rule for anytime: be always clean (i.e. always wash your genitals before an intercourse). Take a number of condoms along and try to avoid various enhancers.
3. Get everything ready in advance. Comfortable intimate atmosphere is more likely to give you the image of a good sexual experience than a fuss at the back seat of your car.
4. Don’t be quick, the more so if your partner is inexperienced too. Make sure she is aroused enough giving time to the foreplay. When she gets aroused her genitals will produce necessary lubrication to make penetration easier. There can be a problem with lubrication if she is feels uneasy herself. In this case you may use special water-based lube on her genitals that is usually sold in sex toys shop. And don’t forget about condom!
5. Sex experiments are not what you should put in practice during your first intercourse. Choose a missionary position (man on the top) and put a pillow under her buttocks. Gently open her labia and direct your penis towards vagina. Take things slowly. If she is a virgin herself, you should take a bit more efforts. Although a hymen is not a serious obstacle, this will lead to bleeding and can cause pain for your girlfriend. Start penetrating into vagina, but don’t do it deeply for the first time.
6. Neither of you should blame yourself even if you didn’t achieve orgasm. Most woman need to learn how to reach orgasm during and this doesn’t happen automatically from your first intercourse.
7. Even if you have had sex before, you can experience certain troubles during your first intercourse. If you are obsessed with the idea to get under skin, this may result in such unwanted effects as lack of erection. If you get over excited you may come too early. No matter what problems will arise think about this experience as though things were not the way you expected them to be and don’t take it too seriously. The surer you will feel the more confidence you will obtain next time.
First intercourse: tips for girls
1. No matter what the reason is for your decision to loose virginity, girls always worry about their first time.
2. Use safe contraceptive and ask your partner to use condom (even if you take birth control pills).
3. Choose a comfortable place. It is necessary for you to make sure nobody will disturb your privacy and you have enough time without haste on minor things. It is also very important as you may feel quite nervous during first intercourse and it can take you more time to get relaxed and aroused.
4. Tell your partner you are a virgin and ask him to take things slowly. If you never used tampons, your vagina may be a bit tight. Your partner can help you loose vaginal muscles by introducing his finger during an intercourse.
5. It would be easier for your partner to penetrate when your legs are wide apart. You can put a pillow under your buttocks to make penetration easier. Keep water-based lubricant handy if you need more lubrication. Help your partner during penetration directing him to your vagina.
6. Never say die if your first time didn’t bring you pleasant sensations and you didn’t experience orgasm. With the time you will learn your body better and sexual relationships will improve.
7. Unlike most men, women obtain more sexual satisfaction with the partner they appreciate, know well and feel the same attitude from him. Having your first time until you get to know each other well may lead to disappointment, when a person lying next to you seems to be a stranger. So follow one general rule: try to get over anxiety and be careful with your feelings.