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What your teen should know
No matter whether we want to believe it or not, the fact remains: teenage sex often has such sad consequences as psychological trauma, STDs or unwanted pregnancy which almost always ends with abortion.
Your task is to convince your son or daughter that everything is good in its season, that he or she must be disappointed with too early sex experience, that there are things he or she should not do in order to avoid troubles related to early beginning of sex life.
It is quite natural that most parents would not like their children to know about such things and would prefer their teens to remain virgins at least until attaining majority. But in most cases this is impossible whereas unwanted pregnancy and other troubles do occur.
Try to speak openly, freely, without embarrassment, blushing and stumbling over the words. Perhaps at first you will feel awkward, but try not to concentrate on this feeling. Be sincere and call things by their proper names. No baby talk, no evasive phrases. Use either medical terminology (do not think this will lead to misunderstanding – most teens are quite familiar with medical terms, anyway you can ask your kid whether he or she understands you), or use everyday expressions.
What should you explain to him (her)?
Most teenage boys get aroused so easily that sometimes a single touching can cause the boy to ejaculate. Actually, a teen does not necessarily need intercourse – he only wants to get satisfaction which can be achieved in another way. Convince your son he does not necessarily have to penetrate his partner’s vagina with the penis to get enjoyment. Manual (with hand) stimulation is the safest one. Petting is safe as well, provided both partners have their clothes on. Intercourse between hips is more risky, because the male partner being too aroused can penetrate the vagina. Besides this such an intercourse is not safe as STDs can be transmitted through it.
If the teen already has already begun sex life, than try to talk him into using safer ways to satisfy the need for erotic sensations. If you do not manage to do this, than convince him (her) to use a condom. Buy condoms for your teen and make sure he (she) always has it in the pocket: teens use any opportunity to make love and an aroused teen will hardly go to a drugstore to buy a condom.
If you have a daughter, than explain to her that early sex life can be harmful for her immature genitals and can provoke such troubles as inflammatory diseases and even infertility. Let your daughter know about non-vaginal kinds of sex activity: petting, masturbation, etc.
But the most important thing is to establish trustful relationships with your teen. Your child must know you are his or her best friend who is worth trusting and speaking openly with. Only in this case your child will apply to you for your help if something bad happens to him.
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